Even though my name is Liberty a symbol for independence and freedom I am so dependent on others around me. I will constantly cling to certain people and that’s why I think I get hurt so much. People react negatively to dependant people because they lack a sense of control but it has its ups and downs
Being the way I am makes me love people with all my heart and I would do anything for anyone but on the other hand it means I get disappointed and heartbroken a lot because I put myself out there too much and fall too easily for the wrong people.
It makes it hard for me to cut strings with people because I feel like I need them in my life, there has been multiple times even very recently where I’ve had someone in my life who makes me feel more bad about myself than good but because once in our “relationship” they treated me how I’ve always wanted I convince myself that it’s okay and they still want to be around me even though all of my friends were screaming at me for being so blind.
It’s not just in relationships though some of my friendships have ended because I was to dependent on them, I like to text and phone call and I like to do fun things or just stay at home with someone I can’t handle being alone.
I’m that girl who’s always either dating someone knew or in a relationship and it’s been that way for years. Most people look at it as such a bad thing and I get so many comments on it constantly but it’s just who I am, I don’t like being on my own I don’t think I function right on my own I just know something is missing, I spend my time over thinking memories of past loves and craving that kind of attention again.
I figured out something about me a few days ago, I seek broken people. The people I tend to cling to aren’t easy people they have history and they’re damaged and the reason I cling is because I want to help them but that’s not always that straight forward. I’ll give them what ever they want in return of a smile on their face or a glimmer of their attention but that normally ends with me just being used which seems to happen a lot. For example If you cling to someone who has commitment issues just because you’re there and you’re doing you’re best to help it doesn’t mean that those issues are just going to disappear odds are they’ll want a fraction of you or want you for one certain thing and then after awhile they’ll go, it’s not your fault but it not fun to go though. Or if someone still loves their ex no matter how much you’ll try they will still love their ex you’ll just be their shoulder to cry on, they might not even realise they’re doing it and most times it’s not really their fault for leading you on and presenting this false hope but they are and it hurts.
More importantly I cling to broken people because I’m the most broken of all.