So… what are we? A question I seem to ask people too much, a question that can make or break any relationship and a question that mixes in so many different emotions into for some of us a cocktail of anxiety, fear and hope.
There will come a time when the constant wondering just isn’t enough, you’ll spend all day and all night over analysing every conversation and every look just to try and reach a new emotional breakthrough but you never quite get it, not on your own anyway. You can sit for hours trying to fit the pieces all together but at the end of the day they still won’t stick.
That’s when the dreaded question comes into play
I’ve never been on the receiving end of this question but from what I’ve seen from movies and friends I’ve discussed this with that have it’s not fun from that end of the scale either.
Three types of answers
There are three answers to this question and for me personally only one of them was ever going to be right but no one ever picked that one.
Answer one the “I see you more as a…”
We’ve all in our life at least once have been “friendzoned” this is awful because you’ve probably spent a lot of time with this person, a lot more time then you would with just an average crush. You’ve got to know them, you’ve fallen for their mind and soul as well as everything else. Constantly waiting for that one long heartfelt message to say how they’ve always loved you and can’t imagine their life without you but alas you still get a cheers mate with a toilet emoji instead of a kiss. Even though it’ll feel like it when you get the horrific “I love you like a sister/brother” it isn’t the end of the world. They are still in your life they still care and appreciate you and if you can’t handle that you need some time to yourself to that’s okay, if they actually are your friend then they’ll wait. At the end of the day they do actually want what’s best for you, its just not them.
Answer two the “I’m just not ready for…”
This seems to be the answer I encounter the most I don’t know if everyone else shares the same experience? You’ll be talking to someone things get more personal and it’s definitely more than a friendship, in some cases you get more intermit you get closer and then the answer can shatter you when you ask the question and the response leaves you feeling useless and used like you’re just a body with no soul of mind, they say they don’t want to be exclusive and they just want to have fun, and though they might not mean to hurt you it still stings. Sometimes you’ll even agree to just do what they want to do because you value that person so much you don’t want to loose either company when that’s all you really are just some company on lonely nights. You wait for hours for a response to get little if anything back yet as soon as they want you you’ll come running back because at least they want you, right?
(If you find yourself caught in this and it isn’t what you want the only advice I can give you is to walk out of that situation it’s not healthy and it’s not fair. If it’s not what you want you can and you’re allowed to find something better, and trust me you will.)
Answer three the almighty
This answer is what I’m guessing everyone is actually looking for when asking this question this is when the waiting and the heartbreak from before doesn’t mean anything when you’re finally wanted by that one person you want more than anything, it’s one if not the best feeling in the world. Loving and being loved is the most beautiful sensation and it’s exactly like how you’ve imagined it, the books and movies got it right and it’s so worth the wait because it doesn’t happen over it and it isn’t easy, you’ve got to put in the work but when you love someone it doesn’t matter.
Sometimes a certain love doesn’t last forever but that doesn’t mean that was the only chance you get. As strange as it sounds you have to think of that person as a lesson and they taught you what to do for the real deal for that one person who will stick with you no matter what. It’s hard to let your heart love again once it’s been broken and if you’re anything like me your heart has probably been broken more than once but sometimes you’ve just got to take the chance…
it can be scary but falling in love is the greatest adventure, you’ve just got to trust that someone will catch you.